To Marry or To Live In?

Years ago, I read something about Katherine Heigl regarding her marriage to Josh Kelley. She made me think differently because before I assumed that people now don’t care about getting married anymore, they just get together then live together.

Miss Katherine Heigl is different, according to her; they decided not to live together to reserve something different for the marriage. I am paraphrasing but what she said is here. I’ve always admire her ever since I started watching Grey’s Anatomy and even if other people finds it hard to work with her I still like her. Now I admire her more and love her more for her choices in life. I wish that more couples are like them, where they take a grown-up step which is to make a commitment and get married and not just live together.

It’s like she restored some faith on me that I can still make that kind of decision with someone, I just have to make them understand why I don’t want to live together before marriage.

I’m sure some people find it a hassle, stressful, expensive or don’t believe in marriage anymore because of the divorce and annulment statistics but I still believe that there are couple who defy those statistics.

Today, I was lead to this article in Yahoo, Post-Proposal Should I Be More Excited, and it narrated a story of a woman who didn’t feel excited when her boyfriend of more than nine years proposed to her when everyone around her is excited. In her conclusion, to her she and her boyfriend already made that commitment years ago, it’s just not public and legal.

I know there are a lot of reasons why couples wait before they tie the knot such as getting to know each other deeply, saving money for the wedding, the woman got pregnant first, the man is married to his job first, the guy’s priority is his bromance first, they are still chasing their dreams or they want to enjoy life first and the list goes on. They are all valid reasons, so I won’t question them.

Isn’t it that Prince William and Her Highness Kate lived together first before they got married? I remember reading it. I do remember that they did start as friends first so they got the chance to really know each other well.

How about couples who didn’t start as friends, they just started dating when they met? I believe they need time to get to know each other but I don’t think it should take them ten years to decide if s/he is right or not, or their relationship should be permanent or not.

So tell me what’s the problem with marriage? I mean if they’re scared to be tied down, like I mentioned before, the divorce and annulment cases are high, they can add to that or is it really because of the fact that people don’t really have a good judgement anymore in finding their mate that they have to spend ten years of their life, trying to be sure of the other person.

I know that is valid too because I know a lot of couples who stayed longer than ten years but didn’t make it to the altar because some people take ten years to mature or realize that the person on their side will never leave their side anymore but sometimes it’s the opposite too. They believe their special someone will always be there, so they feel relaxed and don’t have the urge to reassure or make their commitment legal.

Did you know that the longest marriage recorded is eighty-eight years? Just a trivia. :p

Is being a couple sounds much better than being a husband and wife? Is it constricting? suffocating? Oh trust me, I know the feeling, I’ve met people like that and they didn’t succeed in changing me and taking away my freedom and independence.

It is not suffocating. I am a person who loves my freedom and independence and I’m not scared to make a commitment, because my solution to that is to marry someone who will understand how important freedom and independence the way I do.

And now what I have in my life are family and friends who understood by rebellious nature, someone they shouldn’t suffocate with their love because I will have the urge to get away from them. I want a commitment, a permanent, good marriage but I’m expecting a harmonious relationship where we still respect our needs to be alone or learn alone.

I know it won’t be a problem to us since we both understand what it feels to like to be suffocated if someone tries to limit our freedom and independence and I know it will work because I know a couple who are together for more than ten years and are not afraid to make the commitment to each other publicly and legally. I want to be like them too. It didn’t take them two years to commit. It’s amazing.

Another reason you should tie the knot right away is if you don’t, someone else can easily steal them away and marry them, but if you’re married, you both have to undergo divorce or annulment first. It takes time, it’s expensive, and it will give you a chance to win them back again. Right? haha.. But if you really love them, you love them enough to let them go to be happy with someone else

How about you? Will you get married? Will you just live in together?

Letting Go For Good

Letting go is one of the hardest and the most liberating thing a person can do.

You let go of the impossible goals you’ve set on for.

You let go of the feelings towards people who puts you in a bad situation.

And become fully self-actualized in a moment when you gained something from losing something really important.

Yesterday, I was at the church, and the priest talked about letting go. He explained that letting go will lead you to greatest happiness you never thought you’ll ever have, bring into a state of balance and stability and learned and understand at one point that everything happens for a reason, and what’s meant to be will happen as long as you trust and believe.

It was such good timing because I’m on a verge of letting go or I’ve been slowly letting go of the fantasy I think will become a reality years from now. That’s not to say, I’m not going to have the last effort to make this fantasy come true. Well, it won’t really come true, days had passed, and I realized that my interest on it is decreasing day by day. Maybe because I’m finally getting out for good from my bubble I constructed to protect myself and my future or maybe because I’m starting to see things I haven’t been seeing before. Making the last effort for it is to prove to myself that what I learned about it is not really meant to be.

Another thing that letting go creates in your life, it gives you something important to you too.

I gained something, not just one but a lot of more. And I am more than grateful because it never occurred to me that it would happen.

I gained the opportunity to do what I love, writing. I got another chance to pursue my other passion, singing, and my passion for the piano that I’ve lost maybe eleven or twelve years ago is back. Getting them back in my life made me the happiest person because I gave them up years ago.

God has been really good to me this year, not that he hasn’t been good in the previous years. I have to admit I’ve lost my way and became distrustful compared to how I was before in high school.

This year, what happened to me, made me somehow self-actualized. Letting go led me to my peak experience I’ve become much more happier, accepting, appreciative, grateful, considerate, positive, beautiful inside and out, confident about myself, active than I was before, more open-minded, it has given me more perspectives, made me think out of the box more often and see things differently.

You should try it too! It’s not easy, it’s hard, and very painful but it’s worth it. I assure you that.

Trust my word when I say that if it’s meant to be, it will happen and if it’s not something better will be given to you.

Being a Mentor

Mentor is a word; I will never describe myself due to the linked responsibilities and accountability it holds. Whether I like it or not, a couple of my friends calls me that, they also call me a Guro regarding, Life, Relationship, and Sex.

It all started out when I decided to answer questions in Yahoo Answers. At first, it was just about getting points, and then it developed to wanting to help more people and wanting to share what I know to other people. It didn’t matter to me if I get points or not, all I cared about is trying to answer their questions with everything I know. It wasn’t easy. Sometimes other people won’t choose your answer and sometimes, there are answers that are much better than yours.

I’ve met a lot of people online from Yahoo Answers; they come and go but the ones I never forget are the ones who chose my answer as the best answer to their question. One day, I encountered a person questioning his behavior around the people he knows. He wants to become a better person and make friends. I can’t remember much the specifics of his question, but just like what I did with the other questions, I answered it the best I could.

He chose my answer as the best answer and asked me if I could answer his other question about his relationship with his girlfriend. I also answered it and again he also chose it as the best answer.

I’m so happy that I helped him, and next think I know he added me to his email and we became friends. We still talk to each other until now. We’ve both been a great help with each other because we both provide different perspectives to our own problems. He’s like my little brother. We’re even friends in Facebook, and he’s the one who calls me his mentor. We check up on each other until now and I still give him advises from time to time when asks me.

As for my other close friends, they asked me advises about their relationships, friendships, career and their sex lives. It’s such a great feeling when I’m able to help them or when I imparted something I know that they don’t. It’s the best and most rewarding feeling.

Honestly it’s been a long time since I’ve done it but I do miss the feeling of giving solutions to familiar situations or experiences that I’ve gone through or the people I know have gone through.

How about you? Would you try mentoring as well? Share your thoughts or suggestions.

Blind Faith and Optimism, do they really happen?

“As you have believed, let it be done to you” Lord Jesus to the Roman Centurion

This morning, I woke up with an exhausted feeling from the life that I live. My job as a writer is the one I’ve always wanted but I came to realization three months ago that writing articles and manuals is the one I really want. Instead I came to a conclusion that I wanted to write stories that will touch people’s hearts and help them somehow.

I am now in a state where I trust God fully but sometimes you can’t but doubt if what you asked from God will ever come true. It is because of the blessings I’ve got from God this year and also because of the pilgrimage my Grandmother and I attended two months ago and the seminar I attended with my choir seniors. It led me to a stronger faith in God, it opened my eyes to the miracles in front of me, and it gave me a wide understanding of the situations I am in the past.

One of the lessons I learned is that after asking God for what you’ve wished for, claim it and thank God even though it’s not there yet. Live your life as if it’s already there.

I am living my life as best as I could that way. I wished for some things, claimed it, believe it’s going to come and thank God for it. It’s one of the strongest things that made me happy.

What I’m truly asking myself right now is that do people with blind faith and optimism just like I am get what they want in the end? I know I just contradicted myself when I said that but sometimes I can’t help it. I really wanted happiness but sometimes I just get so angry and irritated of waiting for the significant moment I’ve been waiting for.

Let me ask you? I hope I get your opinions.

I wanted something. I prayed for it. Claimed it. Believed it will come. And Thanked God for it. God gave me signs that what I wanted is for me and it will come. Science also proves it that it’s for me and it will come. Would you still believe it now even it seems impossible for now that it will come? Because while there are signs that it’s for me and it will come, there are also signs that it’s not for me and that it won’t come my way.

I really need your opinions and suggestions. Even though I firmly believe that it’s for me and it will happen, it’s painful to wait for it come and the signs that goes against my signs brings me so much pain when I remember it.

Everyday I do my best to fight for it but right now, I’m loss and I don’t know if I should hold on to it or just let go and move on from it.

What do you guys think?

‘A Case of You’ poster premiere: Justin Long talks Joni Mitchell, rom-com cliches — EXCLUSIVE


Interesting, trying to write something like this too, I meant a romantic comedy that will charm you and leave something in you… Putting a reminder to watch this.

Originally posted on Inside Movies:

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Romance is difficult. Capturing the uniqueness of your generation’s experiences in a movie is even harder, especially given all the easy clichés of modern romantic comedies.

Actor Justin Long has become, intentionally or not, somewhat of an expert in the genre with roles in Going the Distance and He’s Just Not That Into You. For his latest film, A Case of You, he decided to take the pains of a recent breakup and write one of his own, alongside his brother Christian and friend Kier O’Donnell (who plays his roommate Eliot in the film). The movie, which premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival, follows a lonely writer (Long) who falls for a beautiful barista (Evan Rachel Wood). Instead of just asking her out and getting to know her, he memorizes her Facebook likes and tries to become her perfect match. If it sounds like we’re…

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(510) – Dream Date


Dream Date, this is so amazing, I decided to try this too and post my result later or tomorrow. Have a day or night! :)

Originally posted on The Better Man Project ™:


I sit before you a very lucky man. And I have to tell you, I am so thankful for everything I have and the opportunities that I have been given. I am healthy, young, strong-willed and ready. These are gifts. Gifts that shouldn’t ever be overlooked.

I took some time to settle into downtown Los Angeles, a whole new world in itself. My work, this place, the people, the smells….are all new. That list goes on endlessly really. But there are things that do not change about you when you change your entire life. In fact, there are things that will always stick with you no matter what. Tonight I want to talk about dreams.

If your dreams don’t scare the shit out of you, well, they just aren’t big enough. I believe however that the bigger you dream the longer it takes to accept these dreams. There’s a courting…

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