Being a Mentor

Mentor is a word; I will never describe myself due to the linked responsibilities and accountability it holds. Whether I like it or not, a couple of my friends calls me that, they also call me a Guro regarding, Life, Relationship, and Sex.

It all started out when I decided to answer questions in Yahoo Answers. At first, it was just about getting points, and then it developed to wanting to help more people and wanting to share what I know to other people. It didn’t matter to me if I get points or not, all I cared about is trying to answer their questions with everything I know. It wasn’t easy. Sometimes other people won’t choose your answer and sometimes, there are answers that are much better than yours.

I’ve met a lot of people online from Yahoo Answers; they come and go but the ones I never forget are the ones who chose my answer as the best answer to their question. One day, I encountered a person questioning his behavior around the people he knows. He wants to become a better person and make friends. I can’t remember much the specifics of his question, but just like what I did with the other questions, I answered it the best I could.

He chose my answer as the best answer and asked me if I could answer his other question about his relationship with his girlfriend. I also answered it and again he also chose it as the best answer.

I’m so happy that I helped him, and next think I know he added me to his email and we became friends. We still talk to each other until now. We’ve both been a great help with each other because we both provide different perspectives to our own problems. He’s like my little brother. We’re even friends in Facebook, and he’s the one who calls me his mentor. We check up on each other until now and I still give him advises from time to time when asks me.

As for my other close friends, they asked me advises about their relationships, friendships, career and their sex lives. It’s such a great feeling when I’m able to help them or when I imparted something I know that they don’t. It’s the best and most rewarding feeling.

Honestly it’s been a long time since I’ve done it but I do miss the feeling of giving solutions to familiar situations or experiences that I’ve gone through or the people I know have gone through.

How about you? Would you try mentoring as well? Share your thoughts or suggestions.

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17 thoughts on “Being a Mentor

  1. A sex guru? Talk about an area to boast:P ehem…uncomfortablllle. And, who in this world is really a relationship expert? Not even the luckiest ones would probably have the answers others who fail would hear/understand. It would be like the impatient victim of a bully seeking a kung fu master to teach him how to kick butt instead of taking time to master himself in other ways…’sounds like a certain 80’s movie trilogy.

    I think it is like alcohol to my ego. When people come to me, I both feel a temptation to sound like an expert when I am clearly not…and I dislike the taste in my mouth afterward because I neither want to be used like a computer only when someone needs something nor do I feel experienced enough to truly advise anyone. But, in my heart, I do like being helpful where and when I can. Especially when I can help a pretty face.

    • I agree with what you said but I guess I’m fine when people only remembers me when they need me.
      Deep inside I believe that it’s better to be helpful and useful to someone than just existing for yourself.

      I won’t claim I’m an expert because I don’t know everything and I still have a lot of things to experience and learn.

      I myself sometimes don’t know how to solve my problems.

      As for the sex part, I don’t think and believe that I’m an expert on it. I’m pretty sure she didn’t mean it literally and I still don’t know a lot of things about the topic and I don’t have any plans of becoming an expert on the topic.

      At the end of the day, all I want is to help someone to lead for a better quality of life even if it means I won’t hear from them again.

      I guess it wouldn’t hurt to help a pretty face.

      • You have my pity or sympathy. I cannot see anyone being content being sought out only when needed. True friends are there for you when you’re in need, too. And, then there are just the fun times you should be able to share. Not every moment should be like saving the sick or doing a chore. Even superheroes need R and R.

        I don’t have all the answers–or definitive ones–to my own, either, which is another reason I don’t like giving advice. Yet, that part of me–maybe a shred of my mother and/or father–pops out to wave a finger and tell someone how to do something better. Especially when someone THINKS I have the answer or they do something my subconscious thinks is foolish.

        And, yet, I think I DO have the answers and CAN solve my own problems. But, another part of me holds my hands back…has a ransom over me and stops me from acting. It’s tearful nonsense that drives me mad.

        Then why mention the sex?

        Yea, well that’s all well and good, but that moment of doing good is fleeting if we don’t have someone or something to recharge our giving batteries. Even therapists need to see a therapist, eventually. The giving tree gave every piece of itself away til it was just a stump. That’s what we become if we don’t find those who recharge us. Sure, being helpful is great. I just wish more people reached out to me the way I reach out online to them. And, even then, I wish I could do more for them. But, charity and donations to agencies in the area aren’t the answer.

        It’s my weakness. I favor the pretty faces over those not so “pretty”. It’s not very noble of me. It’s just the romantic or lustful creature in me, maybe.

      • Thanks but don’t pity me. I’m happy helping other people. If I need help I talk to my friends. I definitely agree that it gets tiring helping other people. It only gets tiring when people never appreciate the help you’ve given them. If I saw someone has a problem and I don’t know how to help, I don’t bother because I don’t want to risk giving them a wrong advice.

        As for the sex part, why not mention sex? I mentioned it because I’m being honest. My friend mentioned it as a whole that way. They consider me as a life, relationship and sex guru. So why leave it. I guess it’s different with people who talked about it all the time because it’s part of their work. When I’m in the hospital, patients asked for advises in able to avoid risks to prevent on worsening their condition. Or when you’re taking a medical history, the conversation just flows.

        I think everyone needs help to solve their own problems and everyone needs someone to be guided to the path of self-discovery and enlightenment for a better quality of life because as people we don’t always see things with a lot of perspectives, we always see one perspective because of how we are raised, taught at school, and experienced. For always, someone always points or shows as a way to understand ourselves more or suddenly learn something when we least expect it.

        Life is exhausting for everyone. Things that recharge my batteries are sleep, my hobbies, my friends, my family and most importantly God. I’m sure someone will reach out to you at the right place and time. Be patient, optimistic and believe. Good things come to those who wait. I have to admit that line punch me on the gut and thought me a lot when I first heard it from a college classmate because back then I’m so angry and depressed. I was thinking I keep working hard but I’m not getting what I want or deserve. Now, I’ve realized that it’s really true, the things that you want will come at the right place and time and when you least expect it.

        My weakness would be I always see the goodness in everyone. Anyway it’s nice meeting you and talking to you too. 🙂

      • So, you work at a hospital as a nurse or something of the sort?

        Sex as part of their work? You talk to prostitutes?

        And, I usually see the worst like my parents:P Yes, until next we meet…

      • I’m sorry if I confused you, what I meant is talking about sex as a part of my job.

        They are not prostitutes, I’m talking about all kinds of people, married couples are the ones I’m referring to when I was working as a nurse. For example if you have a heart condition, a doctor and a nurse will tell them not to do things that will tire them more. Some of them listens and some of them don’t, so what needs to be done is adjust or compromise to get them to cooperate. So we gave them advises about sex that will lead them to heart attack or death.

        I have another old job, I used to work on a health maintenance organization where we provide health services like health insurances. We to different kinds of men and women and take their medical history which also includes their sex lives.

      • But, again, you say “sex as part of your job”…yet now I presume the “talking” is also a key word. 😀 So, TALKING about sex is part of your present (or past) job. Not sex itself.

        How do you get people–who are horny and ready to run home or elsewhere–to not have sex because of a heart condition?

      • Yes, not sex itself.

        And for your last question, you can find some answers from the internet from other experts. I can’t answer that because it’s been a long time since I’ve updated my knowledge about sex that concerns health. My knowledge is not updated. Anyway have to go back to work, nice chatting with you again. 🙂

      • I appreciate the trust but you should find an expert who’s practicing.

        But when it comes to other topics, if I could help, I will do my best, if I don’t know the topic, we could both learn about it. 🙂

      • I like how everyone says to wait for “the right people” to come along. If I told them how long I’d been waiting, surely they’d think something was wrong with me or that I wasn’t doing something “right.” And, so the cycle goes. It seems easy to tell someone to be patient. But, can we really just wait and expect everything we want or are supposed to have fall into place? It makes me think of that old lesson about hearing a tree fall in the woods if no one is there.

        I meet lots of people and hear the same thing. They’re not the one/s. Someone else will surely come along. The Good Samaritan story surely didn’t include thousands or millions of strangers passing the one in need by. And, when I think of the many–though few compared to the efforts of others–times I have stopped to help someone…

        I suppose I do have a hard time believing, oddly enough. This world gets me down. And, I give up the hope I’ve clung to so long. I’m not giving up my faith like some have…but I also seem lacking in it, anyway.

      • I’m really terrible at asking for help. I come from a very hard-headed family that is full of do-it-yourself-or-be-a-coward fire. We don’t ask for directions until we’re starving. So, I wish I knew what to ask. Of course, I need help. But, like you said, “Thanks for the trust, but…”…I don’t know if I can get too personal with you, either:P

      • No pressure my friend. I understand what you’re going through because I used to be that way. I was raised in a strict family where we have to grow up and learn how to take care of ourselves in a very young age. I don’t ask for help until I tried everything.

        You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. As for me I met the person who brought the best in me and taught me to open up and trust people about my problems only in college. I waited 16 years. She’s my best friend until now.

        We didn’t became best friends over night, she did her best to climb over my walls or break through them. It took her a long time. It wasn’t a walk on the park for both of us. There were fights, confrontations, arguments, and in the end we fixed them all. She never gave up on me.

        I’m sure you will find yours too someday just hang in there and wait. 🙂

      • Well, there’s the rub or switch. We were raised to keep ourselves busy but not take care of ourselves as much. At least, not after my older sis. The rest of us were like misfits compared to her. She raised herself and took off before all of us. We just “putzed”.

        If you want to discuss anything personal, you can try the chat cafe I made or drop me an email. I’m willing to offer whatever help/input I can give you, too.

        Well, I knew a great friend for 10 years from the age of 4, and then I lost touch with her completely. I haven’t had a friend like that since.

      • An offer from an angel. What finer words could be said? If only…dare I say it…others would say these words to me. I’ve said some variation of the same many times to others, already. I’ve tried to help. It pains me to think of the times I received a negative reaction. I lost touch with someone I valued as a friend (and love interest) when they said I had not helped them and that I made them cry. I’ve also turned others away without intent and found myself questioning my own words/efforts.

        If I am receiving this message in error and you’ve already responded to whatever I said, chalk it up to PC error.

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