To Marry or To Live In?

Years ago, I read something about Katherine Heigl regarding her marriage to Josh Kelley. She made me think differently because before I assumed that people now don’t care about getting married anymore, they just get together then live together.

Miss Katherine Heigl is different, according to her; they decided not to live together to reserve something different for the marriage. I am paraphrasing but what she said is here. I’ve always admire her ever since I started watching Grey’s Anatomy and even if other people finds it hard to work with her I still like her. Now I admire her more and love her more for her choices in life. I wish that more couples are like them, where they take a grown-up step which is to make a commitment and get married and not just live together.

It’s like she restored some faith on me that I can still make that kind of decision with someone, I just have to make them understand why I don’t want to live together before marriage.

I’m sure some people find it a hassle, stressful, expensive or don’t believe in marriage anymore because of the divorce and annulment statistics but I still believe that there are couple who defy those statistics.

Today, I was lead to this article in Yahoo, Post-Proposal Should I Be More Excited, and it narrated a story of a woman who didn’t feel excited when her boyfriend of more than nine years proposed to her when everyone around her is excited. In her conclusion, to her she and her boyfriend already made that commitment years ago, it’s just not public and legal.

I know there are a lot of reasons why couples wait before they tie the knot such as getting to know each other deeply, saving money for the wedding, the woman got pregnant first, the man is married to his job first, the guy’s priority is his bromance first, they are still chasing their dreams or they want to enjoy life first and the list goes on. They are all valid reasons, so I won’t question them.

Isn’t it that Prince William and Her Highness Kate lived together first before they got married? I remember reading it. I do remember that they did start as friends first so they got the chance to really know each other well.

How about couples who didn’t start as friends, they just started dating when they met? I believe they need time to get to know each other but I don’t think it should take them ten years to decide if s/he is right or not, or their relationship should be permanent or not.

So tell me what’s the problem with marriage? I mean if they’re scared to be tied down, like I mentioned before, the divorce and annulment cases are high, they can add to that or is it really because of the fact that people don’t really have a good judgement anymore in finding their mate that they have to spend ten years of their life, trying to be sure of the other person.

I know that is valid too because I know a lot of couples who stayed longer than ten years but didn’t make it to the altar because some people take ten years to mature or realize that the person on their side will never leave their side anymore but sometimes it’s the opposite too. They believe their special someone will always be there, so they feel relaxed and don’t have the urge to reassure or make their commitment legal.

Did you know that the longest marriage recorded is eighty-eight years? Just a trivia. :p

Is being a couple sounds much better than being a husband and wife? Is it constricting? suffocating? Oh trust me, I know the feeling, I’ve met people like that and they didn’t succeed in changing me and taking away my freedom and independence.

It is not suffocating. I am a person who loves my freedom and independence and I’m not scared to make a commitment, because my solution to that is to marry someone who will understand how important freedom and independence the way I do.

And now what I have in my life are family and friends who understood by rebellious nature, someone they shouldn’t suffocate with their love because I will have the urge to get away from them. I want a commitment, a permanent, good marriage but I’m expecting a harmonious relationship where we still respect our needs to be alone or learn alone.

I know it won’t be a problem to us since we both understand what it feels to like to be suffocated if someone tries to limit our freedom and independence and I know it will work because I know a couple who are together for more than ten years and are not afraid to make the commitment to each other publicly and legally. I want to be like them too. It didn’t take them two years to commit. It’s amazing.

Another reason you should tie the knot right away is if you don’t, someone else can easily steal them away and marry them, but if you’re married, you both have to undergo divorce or annulment first. It takes time, it’s expensive, and it will give you a chance to win them back again. Right? haha.. But if you really love them, you love them enough to let them go to be happy with someone else

How about you? Will you get married? Will you just live in together?

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